I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
