Swine flu. Run for my life!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
