Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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