if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
