You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
