just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
