Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
