I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
