I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize