i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
