Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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