i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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