fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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