K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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