cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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