She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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