i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
