I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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