it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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