I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
