I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize