no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
