The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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