Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
