girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize