thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
