There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
