Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
