My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
