We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
