come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
