But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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