he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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