Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
