no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
