Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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