I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
