i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Can I color on your dick again?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
