plz talk dirty to me
I wanna bring you to show and tell
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just had sex on a roof
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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