Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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