yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
