I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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