lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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