I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
