You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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