Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
