on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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