the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
