She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
