he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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