We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
