No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
