I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
