I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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