hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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